BIRTHDAY POST: 24 GEMS In 24 Years
/Studio Portraits taken by Charis Renee Photo
Edited by CkingDiamonds Photography
March 28th a queen was born… me… I am the queen —ehhemm— (Sorry that is the Aries in me, moving on… haha )
To honor this day, I decided to be the extra diva that I am and partake in a photo shoot! A portrait session is undeniably appropriate for the occasion and since I am usually the one behind the camera, it was fun! As you may or may not know, I do practice photography as a side hustle, so it was a great little treat being the subject this time around. So, thank you Charis Renee!
However, as nice as photos are, I realized that I wanted to document my growth in another way, one that highlighted the good, bad and the ugly of my year of transformation. If you are close to me, I may have told you how much I struggled with change, rejection, hurt, stress, anxiety this entire year. Although it wasn’t the ideal year, I learned valuable lessons about myself and about life. I’ve grown, hopefully for the better.
Now that formalities of introductions are out the way. Here are 24 GEMS that I have learned in my mere 24 years on God’s green earth.
1. I’ve learned that, above all else, loyalty is the most important quality (to me) in any relationship.
I try to be as loyal as I can, and I expect the same in return. Once someone takes advantage of that, it’s extremely hard for me to trust again.
2. I’ve learned that conquering dreams takes time.
I have learned to be patient and keep my eyes on my own lane. I think the source of my stress stems from my competitive nature. I tend to compare myself to my peers and that leads me to feel overwhelmed or inadequate, sometimes if I am not at the same place. But, you know, I think that’s what college does to us is homogenizes us to some degree. We are all students, all learning, all with the same goal of getting a degree. However, once that is over, people take different paths and reach their goals at different times. So, that being said, at the end of the day, as long as one is proactive with their time and aligned with their purpose, dreams will fall into place.
3. I’ve learned that standing up for myself must become commonplace.
I don’t think I was ever a “pushover” because I never did anything that was against my morals or gave into peer pressure easily. However, I did allow people to take advantage of my kindness to some extent. Well, I do not play that game anymore. I will tell you “NO” in a heartbeat and not think twice or lose sleep. I used to go out of my way to make people happy without getting an ounce of reciprocation when I needed it and it became draining. As they say “you scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours”. Or, as my niece would say “ if you are mean to me, I’ll be meeeaaan to you”. Thanks for that bit LeilaS.
4. I’ve learned that despite what people say, It’s O.K to be dramatic, extra and/or picky.
It is perfectly fine to have high standards! For me, my EXTRA ness doesn’t hurt people… it may tire them out, but it doesn’t hurt them. Ha.
5. I’ve learned that hearts break—just mend it quickly.
I have gotten heart broken by people, friends, circumstances, but I am still alive !!! The moral of the story is that it will be o.k. It’s life. Your heart will get broken. I let rejection literally overwhelm my mind, body and spirit. As a result, I have some deep-ish scars that have taken/ are taking some time to heal. It is what it is, but again it’s life. Just DO NOT DWELL ON THAT HURT. Pick yourself up immediately and keep on sistah.
6. I’ve learned to never underestimate the power of a support system.
Whether there are 2 or 10 people on your side, never underestimate their love and support for you. Keep them, treat them well, and thank the higher power for them. Two of my best friends saved my mental health.
7. I’ve learned… quality over quantity, Period.
Surround yourself with people who add to the quality of your life and do not subtract from it. It’s about how GOOD people can make you feel. GOOD VIBRATIONS ONLY!!!
8. I’ve learned the meaning of “Friends are for a reason, for a season, or for life”.
See, I love that “for life part”. For the longest time, I made friends only if I could see them being a friend for the rest of my life. I hate when friendships fall apart, especially if you’ve invested so much time and patience into the relationship. I never understood how friends just give up on each other. I learned that this phrase isn’t that depressing because those who want to be in your life will find a way to stay in your life.
9. I’ve learned to forgive myself.
Everyone falls, everyone makes mistakes, everyone has disappointments and yes, it could be due to a path you decided to take, but honestly, it was for a reason…for you to learn something. Don’t become jaded (I am trying not to be).
10. I’ve learned to drink plenty of water and mind my own business.
I feel like I have always minded my own business lol. However, half my problems dissipated when I started relaxing more and drinking water. No, seriously. My acne is under control and my body feels better. Water is a necessity.
11. I’ve learned that I love spontaneity, but my body craves routine.
Ask anyone, sometimes I get in the mood to do something, and I want to do it right then! However, I have started to become more habitual when it comes to my daily activities, so catch me during happy hour time because I need to be in my bed by 10.
12. I’ve learned to LISTEN.
Remember in school they taught us “active listening”. Well as you get older, your attention is spread between so many different things and people, but learning to truly listen to someone when they speak is very important. For example, I’ve learned to actively listen to my friends on FACETIME/ in life, instead of putting them on pause as I surf the internet lol.
13. I’ve learned that I love traveling.
The more I travel, the more I love being on top of the clouds!!!!! ( In my Oprah voice) It really does make one think about life in such a different way. Also, after my 14-hour flight to India (posts coming soon), I am confident that I can handle long hauls now. I also genuinely enjoy visiting new countries, meeting new people, seeing new things and learning about new cultures.
14. I’ve learned that there may never be “world peace”…
I know, this is morbid, but truthfully there is no such thing as true world peace. It’s the saddest thing. I am not going to go into a deep philosophical tell-tale, but if you are curious, let’s have a CIVILIZED discussion. :)
15. I’ve learned that communication is key.
Talk to people, dang it! Get out your frustrations, in a constructive manner. I don’t let arguments fester anymore. If I have a problem, and I care about salvaging a relationship, I will talk it out. IDK. Due to the fact that I am most likely to be passive aggressive, this can be hard, but I’m trying.
16. I’ve learned to never underestimate the power of a phone call, FaceTime or a quick text.
I love it when people show they are thinking of me. Doesn’t it make you feel special too? I personally abuse this power, but I love keeping up with my friends.
17. I’ve learned that being vulnerable is a good thing.
Vulnerability is not my thing, but that’s starting to change. I have started to trust people more and that’s a good thing.
18. I’ve learned that stress is TOXIC and can cause anxiety/panic disorders.
Not Fun. I know. So, put your health first, always.
19. I’ve learned that I’m inherently a kind person to everyone, but sometimes “everyone” can make it very hard to maintain the amicability….
Need I say more?
20. I’ve learned that sleep is THE KEY to all good things.
Sleep more!
21. I’ve learned that life is a reflection of standards.
Everything in your life is there because you allowed it to be. If you want something different, hold yourself to that standard. I am still learning how to do this effectively.
22. I’ve learned that I still LOVE (will always love) GLITTERY apparel and objects.
I don’t even think this needs an explanation. I think this is more so a cry for help because I do not want to end up an 80-year old in a sequined dress. Helllppp.
23. I’ve learned that the single life is actually a great life. I SAID WHAT I SAID.
While being in a romantic relationship is great and all, being single is not the worst thing in the world. I get to spoil my own self, buy myself gifts, and avoid unnecessary drama. I LOVE LOVE though, don’t get me wrong.
24. I’ve learned to not keep a record of wrongs.
I am the master of this and it annoys me. I can pin point the exact time, place, and/or thing you said/ did that made me angry. I internalize, then keep it for a rainy day when you truly go off your rocker. Yes, lol believe me it’s draining. People are people. At the end of the day, I trust in God and Karma to take care of it.
